Thursday, March 24, 2011

10 Things Guys Do That Women Just Don't Understand

Let me start by saying this is in no way a man bashing post. During some discussion amongst the women in my office it became clear that there are just some things men do that make no sense to us.

And although this list is in by nooooo way complete, this list contains those that seem to run fairly straight across the board. And before all you haters start in on all the things women do, let me just say, I'm aware we are not perfect and I'd be willing to let you post a reply as long as it is not offensive.
(Disclaimer: pictures are purely representative not accusatory)

So here goes:
10 Things Guys Do That Women Just Don't Understand
(in no particular order)
1.  The Al Bundy pose.  Watching tv with their hand in their pants

2. Walking around the house in their underwear. We all agreed, guys, if you are trying to seduce ain't working, put your pants on. (to protect small children and from losing our lunch, no picture inserted here)

3.  Babysitting. Thinking they deserve a gold star for "babysitting" their own children. Really guys, it's not babysitting, it's called PARENTING.

4.  Finding humor in flatulence. Yes, it's a natural phenomenon, but it's not funny. And holding our heads under the covers or sitting on top of another person while doing it - that's just wrong. But I suppose the gene that makes you do that is the same one that finds slapstick humor such as the Three Stooges-funny.

5. Driving Impatience. This would be sitting at a red light with the foot on the gas and the brake, inching up a bit at a time like you are John Force on the line waiting for the green.

6.  Channel surfing.  Not channel surfing like just trying to find something to watch, no- channeling surfing because, heaven forbid a commercial is on. And then the male ADD kicks in when something shiny appears on another channel and we wonder if we are even going to see the rest of the original program.
7.  Reading directions or instructions - or rather NOT reading them. Leaving us to shake our heads and bite our tongues as they grouse about how they don't know what happened and why it's not working properly.

8.  Death grip on the television remote. Holding the remote like it's Excalibur emitting forth it's magical powers and further proving he is the true king of the household.

9.  Putting empty items back into the cupboard or refrigerator. This truly is one of life's little questions. Why would one do that? Since we as women seem to be the only ones that know the super secret location of the grocery store, it would be helpful to know if something needs to be replaced.
Yes, enough here to put back in the 'fridge

10.  Man eyes. Simply put, this is looking for something, not being able to find it, assuming it is the evil plan of whatever woman is in the vicinity and throwing up one's hands in disgust at the disappearance of said item. It is genuinely using their man eyes when the guilty (or not) woman looks in plain sight, retrieves said item, usually without nary a word and walks away.


maryland said...

That is the funniest one yet. Kudos to the office guys for posing!

Renee' said...

Posing, nothing! That is how they look every day!