Monday, July 30, 2012

12 Things to Know Before Letting Go-"borrowed" points from a blog post

Sometimes you stumble upon something that is exactly what you need. It can be a book, an article, a person or maybe even some good ice cream, but call it divine intervention, serendipity or dumb luck but it's exactly the right thing at the right time. The site: Mark and Angel Hack Life is one of those things, I'm not sure how I came across this site but I find myself returning to it frequently. It's not rocket science, there are a few undiscovered concepts but mostly it's filled with things I already know. But sometimes, it just makes a difference seeing it in print, it's almost like a friend getting all up in your face and saying snap out of it. It makes you blink and then smile because you know something is going to change. Here are a few ideas from the post, 12 Things to Know Before Letting Go

[The past can steal your present if you let it. – You can spend hours, days, weeks, months, or even years sitting alone in a dark room, over-analyzing a situation from the past, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve or should’ve happened.  Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and walk out the front door into the sunlight to get some fresh air.]

    This statement reminds me of the song by The Wreckers, Leave the Pieces When you Go. Although the song is about wanting a person to just go and to leave the pieces so she can put her life back together, maybe the key is to dump the pieces or better yet put them together and turn the puzzle face down after putting the pieces back so the outcome is different.   

[Not everyone, and not everything, is meant to stay. – There are things you don’t want to happen, but have to accept, things you don’t want to know, but have to learn, and people you can’t live without but have to let go.  Some circumstances and people come into your life just to strengthen you, so you can move on without them.]
    We are creatures of habit, we like to have routine. We thrive when we think we are in control. The truth is we aren't in control, the situation just never changes and we become stagnant, sometimes we need change to force us to exercise options and solutions.

[Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. – Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles.  Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost.  Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.]
    This reminds me of the story of the woman that had two coins, she lost one and was so wrapped up in looking for the lost one that the remaining one did her no good. She couldn't enjoy the benefits, she couldn't invest and possibly reap more, she was paralyzed, she couldn't even continue on with life as she had known it. She let the little she lost rob her from all that she still had and the potential that was gained.

[Sometimes you just need to do your best and surrender the rest. – Don’t be too hard on yourself.  There are plenty of people willing to do that for you.  Tell yourself, “I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment.  And that is all I can expect of anyone, including me.”  Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do, even your mistakes.  Because even mistakes mean you’re trying.]
    WOW, what food for thought. I suppose we all feel the self-imposed pressure of trying to appear we have it all together when in fact that even if we did have it together, many of us would forget where we put it! I needed this reminder that for all the dumb things I do or mistakes I make, I have 10 fold of good decisions and products in my life. 

[You are in control of one person, and one person only: yourself. – There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of your control.  Letting go in your relationships doesn’t always mean that you don’t care about people anymore; it’s simply realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.]
    It's good to remember that we may not have control over everything but if we let go of those things and be more vigilant and attentive to the things we DO have control over many of those other issues either won't matter, will fade away or take care of themselves.

[What’s right for you may be wrong for others, and vice versa. – Think for yourself, and allow others the privilege of doing so too.  We all dance to the beat of a different drum.  There are few absolute ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ in the world.  You need to live your life your way – the way that’s right for you.]
    This is so true, but I need to remember that most times I should not judge others based on my belief system and the experiences that have molded it. Live and let Live seems appropriate.

[Some people will refuse to accept you for who you are. – Always choose to be true to yourself, even at the risk of incurring ridicule from others, rather than being fake and incurring the pain and confusion of trying to be someone you’re not.  When you are comfortable in your skin, not everyone in this world will like you, and that’s okay.  You could be the ripest, juiciest apple in the world, and there’s going to be someone out there who hates apples.]
    Funny, I hate apples...... :) 

[Relationships can only exist on a steady foundation of truth. – When there is breakdown in a relationship, you must have the hard conversation.  It may not be pretty and it may not feel good.  But if you are willing to listen and tell the truth, it will open up.  When you build relationships based on truth and authenticity, rather than masks, false perfection, and being phony, your relationships will heal, connect, and thrive.]
   Honesty, most definitely the best policy. 

[The world changes when you change. – Practice really seeing whatever it is you’re looking at.  You are today where your thoughts and perceptions have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts and perceptions take you.  If you truly want to change your life, you must first change your mind.  The world around you changes when you change.]
     This is so true, I especially see this when I look back at some of the ideas and thoughts I had before I had children and then how my thinking changed once I experienced them. 

[You can make decisions, or you can make excuses. – Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving.  A mistake doesn’t become a failure until you refuse to correct it.  Thus, most long-term failures are the outcome of people who make excuses instead of decisions.]
     I find it sad when people are so paralyzed by the thought they might make the wrong decision, that they make none at all. Sometimes you just have to move, make a decision and own it. I had a friend the other day ask what was the difference between spontaneous and impulsive. I suppose it's the outlook you have on the decision after it's made.

[It usually takes just a few negative remarks to kill a person’s dream. – Don’t kill people’s dreams with negative words, and don’t put up with those who do.  Don’t let people interrupt you and tell you that you can’t do something.  If you have a dream that you’re passionate about, you must protect it.  When others can’t do something themselves, they’re going to tell you that you can’t do it either; and that’s a lie.  These people are simply speaking from within the boundaries of their own limitations.]
    Good advice unless your dream is that you can fly. 

[Sometimes walking away is the only way to win. – Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who have proven that they are committed to misunderstanding you.  In other words, don’t define your intelligence by the number of arguments you have won, but by the number of times you have said, “This needless nonsense is not worth my time.]
     Sometimes you have people in your life in which you will never win. Right is right and truth is truth, it doesn't matter if they understand or acknowledge it.

Monday, July 23, 2012

A reflection in a dirty mirror

Podstock- check- done! And it was a hoot as usual. However reflecting back I found myself then and now focusing on the things that didn't go exactly as planned. Why do we do that to ourselves, expect things to go perfectly when they are being executed by imperfect people and there are so many unpredictable variables involved? I actually find it humorous that this is a tech conference, about learning, exploring, stepping out and experimenting and yet I had a mini-meltdown when a few mistakes were discovered and pointed out. I had to remind myself that things happen and in the grand scheme of amount of "stuff" going on, a few minor errors were nothing, fix them and move on and to not camp on them. I had to remind myself that it's not about the perfection, not about the book being exact, not about the internet running at warp speed and not about whether we have brownies or cookies and most certainly not about if the weather is 720 degrees (or so.) It's about the community of the people, the comraderie, the information, and the knowledge gathering. I absolutely love watching the participants, when a discovery is made, it's like that a child that has been given that first "big" box of crayons. The realization that there are more then the large primary 8 colors and suddenly they can color with lilac, puce or burnt umber.

As I reflect back on Podstock I realize that it could be likened to a reflection in a dirty mirror - the image may not be exact, the details may not all be intact but it is still a perfect reflection.

I think back about 15 years when ESSDACK took a chance on me, hiring me to do office work and be - for lack of a better word- hostess. I am thankful daily they let me experiment and learn and carve out a niche that I absolutely love and enjoy. I think that perhaps looking in a dirty mirror is the best because you can let your imagination fill in the missing details of your reflection and see yourself as the person you were meant to be.