Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Worry-Supermom's kryptonite

There have been songs sung about it, 
-Worry, why do I let myself worry- Patsy Cline

-Don't worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy......
- Bobby McFerrin

-Worry worry worry
Worry is all I can do
Oh worry worry worry baby
Worry is all I can do
Oh my life is so miserable baby
Baby, and its all on account of you - B.B. King

Quotes written about it,
-Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.  ~Author Unknown
-People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross.  ~Author Unknown
-A hundredload of worry will not pay an ounce of debt.  ~George Herbert
-Never bear more than one kind of trouble at a time.  Some people bear three - all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.  ~Edward Everett Hale  
-I am an old man and I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened -  Mark Twain

And books written about it, and wise men have pondered about it and the average person just.....well, worries about it.

"IT" -is WORRY.
Thank you Terri P. for the dramatization

What Is worry? Worry is a very strong feeling of anxiety. It’s fear of the unknown – the thought that the worst will happen. We may become overly concerned with future events. We may engage in repetitive negative self-talk with all the worst case scenarios. A lot of our thoughts will begin with …
“If only …
“What if …
I had a friend point out to me this week that I am a worrier, and I do a lot of what-if ing, this friend also brought to my attention that I can only do what I can then need to move on because over thinking is not going to make it any better. One of my favorite sayings is - Don't borrow trouble, live on what you already have." yet.......I do it ALL the time.

Everyone worries to various extents. It could be about something little, like what you think you got on a test, or something big, like getting a major surgery.
Do you worry so much that you worry about worrying too much? In the end, if you just worry about what's going to happen tomorrow, when will you have the time to live today?

What Do We Worry About?

-from the pick your brain website

When it comes to worry, studies have shown the following statistics:
40% never happens – so in essence we are wasting our time by worrying.
30% of what we worry about has already happened. Learn to “let go” and forgive yourself and others. You cannot change the past – no one can. Accept it for what it is and go on.
12% are needless worries, such as what someone else thinks about us.
10% are petty and unimportant such as we worry about what’s for dinner, we worry about being late, we worry about what to wear.
8% of what we worry about actually happens. Of this percentage…
4% of our worries that happen are beyond our control. We cannot change the outcome. These worries may include our health, the death of a loved one or an impending natural disaster. Often times the reality of these events are more bearable than the worry.
4% of what we worry about we have some if not all control over the results. Basically I think this is the consequences of our actions or inaction on the problems and challenges we face.
Given these statistics, you may find it worthwhile asking the following questions:
  • How many times do we work ourselves into frenzy over a situation that is beyond our control?
  • Why do we allow worry to stress us out so much that we become ill?
  • Why do we waste our mental energy with worry?
How to stop worrying and start living: from wikihow
1. Live in the moment, most of the time. Worrying is something we do when we think about bad things that might happen in the future. So the less you think about the future, the less you'll worry. Immediately stop the thought as soon as you recognize that you are worrying. The more you worry, the more worried you'll feel. Take out time for yourself.
2. Tackle your worries head-on, and swiftly. You can still anticipate problems and plan for them without necessarily worrying. The key is that when the worry enters your head, you immediately address or resolve it somehow, and then let it go.

If a worry enters your head at an inconvenient time, designate another time to address it. If you start thinking about house fires during your child's school play, for example, you might think to yourself "I'll go home and make a plan at 10p.m. when the kids are in bed. There's no use in thinking about it until then."

Another approach is to make a list of all the fears that worry you. Go through them, one by one, and make plans. Then...  

3. Move on. Once you develop a reasonable plan, and commit to following it, there's no need to dwell on the worry anymore. Let it go. The danger in worrying is when a scenario that you dread lingers in your head. Sure, you could always do more, like anticipating every possible outcome and taking every possible step to prevent each unwanted outcome from happening, but you'll spend your life preventing bad things from happening rather than enjoying the good things that have already happened. And you won't even be able to stop all bad things from happening, anyway!
  • Maybe you need to learn to be comfortable with risk. If you believe you've done enough to decrease the chances of something happening by, say, 85%, accept that as good enough. There are simply no guarantees in life.
4. Don't recycle the past. Many of the worries we have about the future are fears that the past will repeat itself. Whether it was heartbreak, or an injury, or a natural disaster, it haunts us and we want to do everything in our power from preventing it from happening again.

5. Stop trying to save the world. If you feel like it's your job or responsibility to stop bad things from happening (perhaps to your family, your business, or at all) you're placing too much pressure on yourself. There is such a thing as a hero complex, and you might have it. The thing is, you're only human, and to set yourself an unattainable standard will only cause pain and disappointment.

Perception is key. When you change your perception regarding a specific event, object, or issue: your attitude will change. Stress is associated with something when your mind perceives it as so. Remember, most things really don't have a true value unless our mind associates it with a psychological response. For example, the perception of money itself. Money is associated with a economic value because our mind was trained to respond it with a monetary value; otherwise, it's just a printed piece of paper.

Be more prepared for stuff, so you won't panic when that "stuff" happens.


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