Tuesday, May 19, 2009

There should be some sort of manual......

I knew getting ready for graduation would be somewhat stressful, I mean, I had already muddled through Aaron's so I was kind of up for what to expect with Brett's. I did not, however, remember that the whole invitation thing was such a big deal. Maybe to the average bear it's just another piece of the puzzle but to me, this was very definitely the single biggest brain drain of the process.

I mentioned earlier the stress of the "perfect" invitation but I think we've all agreed that is just a personal problem I have and it does not affect others across the grad planning board. Another part of the invitation thing that totally messed me up and caused WAY more worrying and fretting than it probably should have was the guest list or not. I personally hate getting invites from people I don't know or barely know or I know the parents but wouldn't know the kids if they were selling magazines on my doorstep. With this type of thinking, I tried to be selective on the guest list. If the person in question had never had at least 2 meaningful conversations with my son or if I had not forced them to hear about him on a daily basis, see pictures until they would be able to successfully pick him out of a line up or if I hadn't told of his accolades and/or cried over his mis-steps, they were nixed from the list. I tried not to send them to every relative near and far I could think of and keep it only to those that were immediate in location or bloodline. I thought I was being very considerate for others. I did tell Brett to invite any of his friends he wanted to the party - I really didn't want anyone to feel pressured to bring a gift or send one, and I hoped by him just inviting them they might alleviate some of that, and I think it did to some degree.

Well, you know when you get a Christmas card from someone that was not on your list and you quickly get one sent back to them? That kind of starts to happen with party invitations. I didn't do that though, I guess some might call it bull-headed (NO, MOI?, no way) but I drew a line in the sand and did not reciprocate. We go ahead and attend a couple of parties that we didn't invite them to ours, but we took a gift- oh, let's call it like it is - a card with money- to those parties. It became somewhat awkward when they asked about our party and I hope no one got offended but if I had a third child I think I would do the party thing a little differently.

I would include the phrase- no gift necessary the we would simply like you to share in the happiness and celebration of this occasion. Then send it to anyone and everyone we know. Those that want to give a gift can, but no one would feel obligated. But I don't have a third child and I don't have the opportunity to try something different so I hope any persons that felt slighted by no invitation let that pass quickly and understand we did leave people out intentionally but because we didn't want to include them, but that we didn't want to put any additional pressure on anyone.

If you were given as much paperwork with a child as you are when you purchase a toaster, this would be included in the manual they give you when you bring a baby home from the hospital.

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