Love Technology Style

Last weekend I attended a wedding, and it provoked a little thought. I found myself comparing the changes in love, marriage and of course, life in general with the addition of the internet and especially social media. I had never really pondered the implications in this context. I was fortunate enough to know my great-grandparents but never got to ask alot about them, which as an adult I truly regret. But my guess is they were much like other young loves back in those days. You knew the families in your town, if you were a guy, you found the farmer (within wagon distance) with several daughters and picked the one that appealed to you. She might not be the cutest one by our standards today but I'm sure she was greatly valued by her work ethic and broad hips.





Then your brother picked her sister and there was a town gathering and a picnic. You stayed married because that's what you did. Love? who knows, but commitment, yes.

Next generation, my grandparents.......the war, trains, and the postal service and the circle of possibility got a bit larger. Some met at colleges, and some when the boy came to a college town  and met a local girl, or when he went in to the service. The corresponded via snail mail and eventually they settled somewhere together. The focus shifted a bit to more of an emotional attraction rather than utilitarian companionship. And the commitment continued.

Fast forward a bit to my parents, again, many men went into the military or worked in their home towns, or as before went away to college. Many, as my parents, married before entry into the military, and I believe some of the reasoning was to know they had something at home while they were away. Stress factors increased and with the introduction of women's lib and the diminishing stigma on divorce, marriages started to deteriorate, all of the sudden women saw a chance to test their own wings and did. They were able to travel and meet people from many different places, they went out into the work force and suddenly found themselves spending more time with others than at home, heads turned, marriages crumbled. There was also a better way of communicating—the telephone.

Now to today, wow, what a change, you can go anywhere in person and if you can't go, you just get on the internet. Chat rooms abound on any and every subject. Or you meet someone getting on plane, before the internet, it would be a lovely meeting and a nice memory, and if you didn't get an address or phone number, it was done. Now you can take that tidbit of information, race home and look them up, within minutes you probably have a way to contact them again. You can find them on facebook and manufacture "chance" meetings. In a way we are finding ways to manipulate fate, kismet, chance, serendipity, whatever you want to call it. There is also the whole other side of meeting and connecting via dating sites, letting a service match do the legwork and find your soul-mate, whether it be across the street or across the Atlantic.

Social media allows you to find that cute guy you pined over from the 8th grade on Facebook. Or you google your child's teacher you secretly had a crush on and find she/he has a blog and become a follower. And no wonder marriages are under such stress, now we not only imagine the grass is greener, we read about it on other's pages. There is also the whole other side of meeting and connecting via dating sites.

But the wedding I attended gave me hope, hope that maybe true love will win, the connection of the heart will prevail. That maybe we have turned the corner and are finding ways to use technology to become more connected to our love in the beginning and in turn, once again, remain connected and committed for life.

10 Things I Love About Podstock

Well the time is fast approaching for us to put on our saddle shoes, poodle skirts and bebop on down to the diner for the Podstock conference, or un-conference. As we've talked about in the past our theme this year is the Fabulous 50's! So we're going to turn the Hotel at Old Town into the Podstock Diner. I've been busy putting the finishing touches on some items to make the whole thing just a hoot and half. So I thought I'd give you a sneak peek.

First we have our conference session guide, designed to look like an old fashioned diner menu.....makes sense, right, ordering up what is just right for you from a selection of scrumptious choices. Yummy....It's all good. Inside there is some pull-away sheets with complete descriptions of each day's "specials". Next we have the name tags, what could be better than an order of .......YOU! so it's written on a guest check, crazy, huh? One of Podstock's goals is to share info about companies real educators are using in their real classrooms (and beyond) so we've decorated up our placemat to give notice to those products we in which we see real, usable technology. Now, we couldn't have a placemat without a plate, right? so what is more appropriate then a plate of bacon and eggs - makes me wanna scream, "Order Up!" Moving along, the fake napkin and silverware (some of our people- not naming names, cough, cough, wyckoff- have that nasty injunction thing about possessing sharp objects, so paper is good), anyway, on the back we pay respect and thanks to our wonderful sponsors which make it all possible. Each participant also gets their own diner cook hat (or soda jerk hat, if you must) so everyone is cooking up ways to use technology in the classroom. We are planning on having baskets of 50's brand candy on the tables but in my pic the basket is filled with foam french fries. Our conference bag to cart home all your freebies (of which we have some great surprises!) is naturally a .........wait for it.................carry out bag! And of course everyone will be trying to score this year's guitar pick.

This is the time of year I love, we've been thinking and planning and now the boxes are coming in and after some more proofing and some final touches, we can start cutting, laminating and assembling. YAYYYYYY! So ready for it to get here, are YOU?

And in case you are counting, because I know even though most of you ooze creativity, some are that pesky type A, yes, there are only 9 things listed but the 10th is the super secret item we're working on so stay tuned, maybe I'll spill the beans closer to time...

And a few of my favorite pics from this year

Tangled but not Trapped - Dealing with Adversity

Why do some people seem to be able to get temporarily tangled up in the snare of tragedy and adversity and some people find themselves infinitely trapped and immobilized?

Photo from Mittens to the Max

There have been several events in the past few weeks that have caused me to reflect, not only on myself but on humanity and the very question of what fibers make up the fabric of our lives. Why we each deal with events and circumstances differently and how some people just seem to find the strength to carry on. We as outsiders don't understand but I truly believe that God gives us grace when we need it and not before - in other words, He doesn't waste it, He portions it when needed. So that is why we as outsiders look in we don't understand things like how a grieving mother can come to terms with her baby being ripped from her arms in the midst of a violent tornado, how a family can celebrate the life instead of the impending passing of a parent with cancer, how a friend whose marriage unexpectedly collapses in a heap around them can pick up the pieces, or how a child beaten and mistreated can be loving and giving when the very preciousness of innocence has been taken from them. These are the ugly things in life, things we do not understand, but we all learn that we can't let these circumstances rule us. I am not a big fan of the phrase, "Just get over it" to me that reduces our emotions and deems them unjustified. A saying I use alot is, "It is what it is." To me that means, I can't change it so how am I going to deal with it, and what can I learn from it. We need to learn to deal with the events in our lives and let them mold us into better people.

Photo by Marc Arsenault on Flick

I think we see ourselves as a finished product and when undesirable events happen we view that break as creating unusable junk, when in reality it is sometimes necessary to break something to get it into a state that is moldable.......everything from play-doh to melted metal to jello, goes from one pliable state to become a completed, molded form. But even after coming out of the mold, refining needs to happen, smoothing of the burrs, polishing, or drying. So, we are never really "finished" we are - or should be- in a constant state of refining. And sometimes that takes an act of completely breaking us and being cast again to bring take us closer to the person we were meant to be. We want to be able to comb through the tangles and not let them become walls in which we become trapped.

This is a poem I wrote: (and I know there are no capital letters, I did it on purpose......just get over it.....-wink-)


tangled but not trapped

why does tragedy trap us within walls unseen?
tangled up and cut from invisible barbed wire.
unseen traps causing us to stumble without notice.
emotions coming to surface and constricting our hearts.

each person their own identity, formed by events unique to them
given to make us better, stronger, wiser,
but often times causing us to
feel used, weaker, feeble minded.

we allow the evil and negative to rob us of our
accomplishments and our progress and pull us back down
to wallow in our self-pity and loathing.

we allow demons from our past to separate us
from the joys of our present
focusing our thought and energy on things that cannot change
and taking away from the choices we can make today.

allowing the past to hurt us again and again,
ripping the scabs from the wounds and
slowing the healing process, yet again.

trying to cover the scars, instead of using them.
making them visible to alert others,
telling them victory is attainable.

i will not let my past be my master, i am slave to nothing
when pain comes to knock, i will not answer,
i will turn it away knowing it will return again some day.

i have been given this albatross to bear and  know triumph
is not a single event but a series of small victories.
as in war i will fight each battle with strength and determination.
eventually hoping to arrive on the other side of this wilderness.

i have been given another day, i will not squander it, i will relish in
the beauty around me, the blessings i have been given and
the joy that is mine for the taking.
I will not be defeated by that which i cannot control.

Not even a tornado takes out Facebook

On Sunday night a massive tornado ripped through Joplin, Missouri. Shattering windows, strewing cars, trucks and even a helicopter like toys, and tossing precious people about like rag dolls. The violent winds took out anything in it's path, with no regard to loss of property or life. In the aftermath I thought I'd just text my sister to make sure she was ok, and she replied her and Molly were fine but the devastation she was seeing was completely unbelievable. We texted back and forth because in town they weren't getting much info and I was seeing and hearing more from the television than she knew.

Texting seemed to work from their phones but calling in or out was sparse at best. What was amazing to me was watching Molly's Facebook wall and people from all over were inquiring about loved ones and family and damage reports. She would relay back via her page what she was finding out and putting relatives of the residents that were far away at ease. One instance was one of her friends, away in Ireland, wanting to inquire about her family. Molly went and checked and responded to the girl in quick fashion and the angst about the situation, although not totally relieved, was definitely minimized.

Many people still do not see the value of the social networking system, and I watched as the tweets came, Facebook wall posts increased, new pages went up to assist people trying to help and find loved ones, I watched as young and old alike used these tools to ease each others concerns and most of all I watched as the human spirit, put aside the surface use of this technology to dig deep and make it meaningful.

Although we may not be able to physically go and help in the aftermath of this tragedy, the information being disseminated can at least us feel compassion and empathy for those involved. The stories coming across the pages cut deep and hopefully cause us to take the time and examine our own lives and make the most of every moment, because no one is guaranteed tomorrow, not our property, not our plans, not even the breath we take, because like the people of Joplin, everything could change within that same moment.


Some of the Facebook pages set up for the people of Joplin:
http://www.facebook.com/FriendsofJoplin
http://www.facebook.com/joplintornadoinfo?ref=ts
http://www.facebook.com/joplinmo
https://safeandwell.communityos.org/zf/safe/add

Some of the pictures of the aftermath taken by Tee Larmore

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall......why yes, I AM the fairest of them all.

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than f*n' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing,
You're f*n' perfect to me. 
—From Pink's F*n Perfect

See the entire video here.

Warning: This video contains mature content and may be offensive to some people, but it is what it is.

Although I am not a fan of profanity in lyrics I am very drawn to this song. I heard it again this morning on the way to work and it's just so appropriate for our society. Being a girl myself, - I know, surprise!- I understand the self-esteem issues facing girls growing up in our society. I haven't seen studies but I would imagine that from very early on girls start to hear if they are "pretty" or "cute". And what defines that? Money, affluence, doting parents, things that the girl herself has no control over. I have seen two little kids, one, face smeared with today's peanut butter lunch, hair wild and unbrushed and one, pristinely dressed and clean as a whistle, hair pulled back in a big pink bow and the difference in reaction of adults is amazing. The antics of the "pretty" one are considered "spirited" and the other with the same actions is considered "a mess". No wonder they get to be teenagers and are so confused in their identity and worth.

In an article published on education.com, written by Anita Gurian, Ph.D. NYU Child Study Center, it has some enlightening statistics, which might help us to understand the internal and external pressures girls feel and how these pressures affect the development of their self-esteem. And no surprise is that sexualization of girls is a broad and increasing problem causing harm to a healthy self-image and development.

|| Sexualization is defined as occurring when a person's value comes only from her/his sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics, and when a person is sexually objectified, e.g., made into a thing for another's sexual use.||

This whole thought makes me think of the little girls dressed with words across their butts, although that trend seems to be fading. The "new" thing is high heels. High heeled shoes in a fashion sense are to give more length to the leg, but high-heels force the body to tilt, emphasizing the buttocks and breasts – highlights of a woman's sexuality. Seriously? I don't really know of any pre-teen girl that needs that.

The article also addresses some ideas for parents that can positively impact their daughter's self-esteem, because contrary to popular belief, parents still have a huge amount of influence over their children.

By the way, this is my random picture insert of three of the most beautiful women I know

Nieces- Kenzie and Molly and my sister, Kelly

In my opinion, I see women struggling to find an identity during their youth and perhaps find a way to be comfortable in their own skin when much to their chagrin their skin changes. Then the cycle of search for beauty begins again.

Here is a poem I wrote some time back about this emergence of a girl to a woman only to be trampled in society by stereotypes, inadvertent expectations, and unrecognized inherent worth.

Fading Beauty
Like a seed sown on rocky ground
working so hard to spring forth
from the hard shell
The soul searching for soft words to
soothe it like refreshing water
A soft touch pulling the face towards the sun
Gaining strength, breaking out
Taking root in the crevices of the hard asphalt
Taking advantage of the limited amount of rich soil
surrounding the tender roots.

A beautiful bloom emerging to full blossom
perched atop a strong stalk,
girding it’s vulnerability with sparse thorns
Petals soft and velvet-like to the touch
Vibrant color, Intoxicating fragrance
Wanting to be cherished, treasured, valued.

Feet unaware of the ground beneath
Taking no heed of damage
Trampling the spirit
Bruising the soft petals
Ripping the now fragile stem from it’s life-blood
Laying gasping on the hot pavement
Shriveling, Drying, ...Dying
Beauty fading, to be enjoyed by no one.

Good vs. Evil

"Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul-

And sings the tune without words

And never stops - at all."   —Emily Dickinson

This week in my town, unfortunately like too many other towns across the globe, we had a teen suicide.

||According to Teen Suicide Statistics website:
One of the leading causes of death amongst teenagers is suicide. The Centers for Disease control report that it is the third leading cause of death, behind accidents and homicide, of people aged 15 to 24. Even more disturbing is the fact that suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for children between the ages of 10 and 14.||


This event is always tragic but for some reason this one made me wonder what drove them to that point. This kid by all appearances was fairly happy and well adjusted. So what pushes a kid that far? No one will ever know but it also made me think about an author I loved reading, Frank Peretti. Many of his books (This Present Darkness, Piercing The Darkness, Prophet, the Visitation and The Oath) were on the conflict between good and evil, and in the end good prevails.......I like that....thinking that the white hat wins. I wrote a poem (which is amazingly scary to share) demonstrating the triumph of good. I realize that this totally over-simplifies the inner struggle and pain which is obviously being dealt with by that person, but my biggest wish is that teenagers have enough hope, —or strength to search for the source of hope— to perhaps overcome their inner demons.


Anew

Sitting in the sand, knees pulled to my chest, staring at the waves
watching as unrelentlessly, the water pounds the shore
Looking out to sea, feeling as empty as the distant horizon.
The moon laughs as it illuminates the blank canvas.

I stand as the bleak abyss beckons me come,
feeling the sand beneath my feet,
sharp shells piercing my flesh,
walking into the dark water
my body enveloped in the cold blackness
shivering, then going numb.

Letting my body succomb to the watery grave
Letting the demons consume me
Letting my mind be free of the torture.

Suddenly overcome with a blanket of warmth
an unseen force propelling toward the surface
A hand from the heavens throwing me hope like a life ring.

Spitting and sputtering, spewing out the rancid water
wishing to fill my lungs
A knowing smile crossing my lips,
realizing that what was meant to be my end and death
has instead baptized me into a beginning, a new life.
Giving me renewed strength to emerge a conqueror
Vanquishing the evil that sought to overwhelm me.

Feeling sorrow no more, only joy,
Pushing darkness away, seeing light.
Loosing the shackles, sprouting wings
Denying despondency, emitting confidence.

As the sun rises displacing the darkness,
The waves push me to shore,
Assisting in my rescue,
My feet steadying me as the sand shifts beneath me
I walk to the dry sand turning and facing the water once again.
This time seeing the sun as it shines upon a blank slate,
ready for me to start anew and begin again.

10 Things I Learned From A Child

Learning is all around us. As we get older we tend to look to "experts" to advise us, people with vast experience, degrees or just plain smarts to tell us what to do, how to act, where to visit and sometimes even what to think. But if we get honest some of the best lessons come from children, raw and unrehearsed tidbits that can make our lives richer.

I love taking pictures and was amazed at the lessons being displayed in the photos.

10 Things I Learned From A Child

 1. Express Yourself- Children have a way of displaying what they feel. Their little filters are not yet fully formed and if they want to act silly, they do. If they feel like crying, they let it go, if something is funny, they giggle. They wear their emotions on their sleeves, although being an adult, one does need to practice a bit of restraint, maybe the world would be a happier place if we all just let go once in a while.

2. Have someone to look up to -  we all have mentors and teachers but sometimes it's the plain 'ole people in our lives that have the greatest influence. We need to remember that some of the best memories and lessons come from those closest to us.

3. Ask to drive - We become so accustomed at being told what to do, we fail to ask for what we want. We timidly accept what we are handed assuming someone else has more experience, more clout or just more ......er.....um........guts than we do. We need to learn more often to step up and just ask to take the helm.

4.  Be proud of your accomplishments - So often we downplay something we done. We brush it off like it's no big deal when sometimes it is a very BIG deal to us. We have the right to peacock around occasionally, celebrate the victories, no matter how "small".

5.  Snuggle - When a child wants a hug they come boldly and get it. They don't fear rejection, and most often they get their hug or snuggle and quickly off to the next thing. Adults need to learn to give (and receive) hugs without expectation.

6. Hold on to your innocence - Children are innocent, they don't second-guess the words coming out of their mouths, they don't have hidden agendas, and they don't worry about outcomes. They act out of impulse. As adults we could take a lesson on letting go of the jaded thinking that makes us cynical and suspecting of everything around us.

7. Be brave and adventurous - The bane of every parents existence is the lack of fear factor in their child. They bravely walk to the top of the hill and hop on that sled and down they go- what about falling off? What about a broken bone? How are they gonna stop when they get to the bottom? Who knows.....they certainly do not, but to them it's all about the fun and adventure. As adults maybe we should just close our eyes and jump occasionally, take a chance. Scary? maybe, Exciting? most definitely.

8. Express your individuality - It amuses me to see a child all dressed up. In the fashion world she'd be slammed for her mismatched outfit. A feather boa with a plastic grass skirt, doesn't she read Vogue or Seventeen? no, matter of fact she can't even read at all. And the little boy that turns a cardboard box into a fort or airplane.....creativity at it's best. Before someone tells them they can't pretend, they let their imaginations take them to worlds they will soon put behind them for the strict perimeters of reality. Perhaps as adults we should occasionally take out the coloring pages and color the people purple and give them green hair - for old times sake.

9. Enjoy what you do - Children enjoy what they do, jump in with both feet and let it go. Maybe that is why we enjoy watching a child dig into that birthday cake. Because who wouldn't like to throw etiquette out the window occasionally and eat with our hands?

 

10. Don't be afraid to get dirty -  Dirt. What kid doesn't love dirt and water.......which let's face it, is mud. As a child you spend your time trying to figure out to get dirty and somewhere along the line that switch flips and you spend the rest of your life trying to figure out how to avoid the mud. Strange how that happens. Go ahead get dirty, and then you can participate in one of the adult world's pleasures.....a good, long hot shower.

All Aboard! - Riding the Rails on the Ark Valley Eagle

Ark Valley Eagle

OK, I have to admit, riding the train composed of 2 engines (one on front and one on back) and 3- 1950's passenger cars int he middle, was NOT on my bucket list. I could've died contentedly without the hour long railroad tour. But when my husband ended up with an extra ticket (this particular opportunity happens in our area once a year), I did the good wife thing and accompanied him, all the while looking at it from a blogger point of view and having no real expectations. After all, this was not the first time I had been on a train, I remember a few years back when I was just a youngster (alright, MORE than a few years) my elementary school took the train to the zoo. Of course at that time, well the same as it would be today, I was way more excited about going to the zoo than riding on the train.

 As much as I was unimpressed, I couldn't help but notice all the children- no doubt having been raised on the adventures of Thomas the Tank Engine - giddy with excitement as the train rolled into town. The whistle blowing and the conductors in period costume waving as the train comes to a stop.

The train coming from Wichita, detrained those passengers in downtown Hutchinson for them to go eat and browse the antique district and then loaded up with a new group of families, railroad enthusiasts and just plain folk, out to experience a dying breed of transportation. We boarded the train and prepared for our short journey. The conductor came by and punched our ticket and we were off.

One thing that struck me was how the train seems to go behind the scenes, not the best part of town, and seeing the underbelly of the infrastructure, the maintenance departments and the drainage ditches. The gentle swaying was relaxing but not enough that it made a wimp like me sick to my stomach. Then we reached the destination and the train simply stopped, we switched our seat backs to the other position, the other engine took over  and proceeded back from whence we came.  This was definitely not a thrill-seeker kind of adventure and not one I'd like to do every weekend but was a nice way to spend a couple of hours on a sunny, spring Saturday.